We don't mean to lose ourselves, we don't try to fade away, but there are seasons when despite our best efforts, it just happens. We slowly become a tired, messy, less sparkly version of ourselves. We forget about who we really are, who we really want to be. We stop asking what God is really wanting us to be accomplishing in the dashes of our lives, that magical little line between the date of our birth and the date of our death. We put what we really want to do and become on the back burner as we get lost and caught up in the already happening, already over-scheduled overwhelm of day-to-day.
I realize my birthday is coming up soon, and I have spent some time allowing myself to think about me, myself, and I. And I guess, if I'm honest - I realize I have lived most of my life being entirely self centered. The woe-is-me story in my head is always, always, always revolving around myself and the things I haven't gotten, I haven't done, I haven't been granted, I haven't achieved, I can't afford, I can't change, I have failed at… And then I turn it all around, so in my mind, it's also never actually about me - it's always about someone else, or something else, that is always the root cause of all of those "haven'ts" above.
Phew, that's a whole lot of time and energy involved in avoiding basic reality.
I've also lived much of my life battling an odd mindset that told me to dream is to be reckless, to pursue and embrace is to be selfish, to acquire and obtain is to be irresponsible. And the times when I did allow myself to do any of those things, I was always left with a marbled mix of guilt, overshadowing whatever accomplishment or achievement of the moment. It left me hesitant and lacking inner self confidence.
As I look deeper into these words, these ideas and beliefs as I'm writing them, I shake my head a little, wondering how I have let all of that become so engrained in my DNA over the last forty-two years. Why is is NOT ok to embrace the dream - to embark on a go-big-or-go-home challenge and mentality for ourselves? Are we not worth it? Will the improvement from within surely not explode exponentially with possibility after it begins to reach and seep from our inside out? Will doing great things and becoming great people surely not cause an amazing ripple effect to everything and everyone surrounding us, touching us, watching us? Will our families not thrive? Will our children and marriages not grow? Will our friends and relationships not flourish?
Yes, Yes, and Yes. Grabbing the horns of self care, soul care, self improvement are not things of shame and guilt, they are things of growth and empowerment. A better YOU makes a better WORLD, one caring touch, one loving word at a time. I believe we honestly need to try figure out how to love ourselves better, so we can fully and completely love those around us better. And we do not need to put that off until another season, another day when we might have more time, more energy, more money, more incentive, more need.
Dare to dream, dare to do something big, dare to do something brave.
Dare to live fully again (or for the first time), dare to do something for YOU and dare to start the adventure TODAY. It's ok to start TODAY, to make the commitment right now.
Spend some time in silence. Spend some time in prayer. Spend some time in daring deep conversation with those near and dear. Listen to the cry of your heart, listen to the whisper of your soul... What is God calling you to do today - what things will grow and blossom you inside and in turn, positively affect all those around you on the outside?
Change is hard, I know it, I get it. Finding a place to just start can be crazy overwhelming. Looking all the way to actual full achievement can be almost paralyzing. But breathe deep and take the challenge, embrace that calling inside that says you can do this, you can achieve this, you can overcome this, you are worth this!
Schedule the massage, get the babysitter, go for a walk, go for coffee, dare to say NO to overbooking and overwhelming your schedule, and your families schedule, with the things that ultimately drain you and leave you empty. Say YES to silence, say YES more things that will fill you, say YES to yourself, to putting yourself first, so you will be able to give your best and first fruits back to God and to those around you.
Don’t listen to the lies of the world, don’t listen to the deceit of your inner demons telling you you’re going to be a failure. Register for that class, that race, that mission trip, that Bible study, that online dating site, that serving opportunity that is way out of your comfort zone. Start the adoption process, write the book, hire the health coach, join the gym, set the goals, start going after whatever it is you have been putting off or you fear is unaccomplishable. Just step out, take the stand, take the steps, take the time to embrace and believe in yourself, love yourself, better yourself, surprise yourself…
Help change the world, by starting with you. Do whatever you need to do, but simply just start the forward trajectory today to get your sparkle back. You are worth it, and you will never regret it!
{ next blog post "Birth Order" click here }
{ previous blog post "Embracing Intervals" click here }
No comments:
Post a Comment