For nine months I focused and diligently trained to run a half marathon. I am not a runner and I’m not an athlete, but I actually completed a 13.1 run one week ago today. I got up and conquered so many things that morning, and that night I went to bed asking the quiet question “What’s next?!?”
No one other than myself is really expecting an answer from me, and to be honest I have a feeling my husband and family and friends are almost holding their breath in dread as to what my next big “what’s next” is actually going to be. What am I going to think I have to do… have to accomplish… have to prove… have to commit to next? What kind of time commitment and expense is it going to require? What kind of inconvenience and annoyance am I going to impose this time?
Ok, I don’t actually know if that’s what my husband and family and friends are thinking, but in my mind it’s what I’ve convinced myself is going on in their minds. My husband has been a rockstar supporter of me since I’ve met him. My family has been rockstar supporters of me since I took my first breath of life nearly forty-three years ago. But I’m never quite sure just how far or how long they are willing to go with and give me… Diving in, digging into, hurting, healing, changing, growing, training, all take in incredible amount of time and attention to the one embarked upon the journey… it also takes an incredible amount of time and attention from those supporting those embarking upon that journey.
Everyone around me is probably all praying, pleading, begging that I finally start moving on to something else, something different… something beyond my health, beyond my running, beyond myself.
While in my head I have myself convinced what everyone is hoping I do (or don’t do) next, I myself honestly didn’t know what I really wanted to do next. The more I thought about it, the more I just kept coming back to the thought that I know I’m not going to be able to run forever, I’m not going to be strong and healthy forever. I’m not going to be this dedicated and disciplined forever. But for some reason for today, for this current season, God has in fact granted me health and determination. He has allowed me to taste accomplishment and achievement at a degree and level in which I’ve never experienced before.
While I realize I’ve more than likely already topped out at my peak, my finest, my greatest, my highest… I still deep within feel a continued drive to merely continue on as I have been for the past year. Continue forward with my perseverance, continue forward with what simply seems to be currently working for me. Continue on with the healing, the processing, the finding of who I really am, what I'm really made of, and what my full purpose is in life.
While I was in the bath two nights ago a thought came to me (I cannot tell you how many of my life's grand whispers happen to me in the bathroom... eyeroll I know, but it's the truth)... Well, my next date and distance goal just randomly popped into my mind. This is usually how it works for me… I hear the small still voice, and I just know that’s what the next plan needs to be. I’ve decided to set a few new time frames, a few new dates to schedule my days and thoughts around, and it came to me quite clearly what my next plans and goals for 2018 are going to be.
First, I am going to rest from race training for a little while. I will still run, I will still elliptical, but I will not follow a training schedule for a few weeks. No double digit mileages, no racing against the clock and my mind vs body for speed and endurance for the next two months.
After my Friday night bathtub epiphany, I went online yesterday and signed up to run a half marathon on Saturday, March 10, 2018. I will hopefully be able to celebrate my forty-third birthday with a half marathon completion metal around my neck and a running bib pinned to my shirt. This morning I printed out blank calendar pages from today through March 2018. I sat down and filled out each and every day from today until March 10th. I first did this back in February and filled in all the days through October 15th. I have daily looked, completed, and crossed off my training goals every day since.
I plugged in short runs, long runs, interval days, walk days, rest days, elliptical days… similar to what I’ve been successfully doing for the last nine months. The only tricky part is… well, I live in Iowa. And in case you aren’t familiar with winter in Iowa, it’s well… cold and entirely unpredictable weather-wise. I don’t enjoy running outside in the cold, and I don’t enjoy running inside on my treadmill. I plan to probably have to train inside, and I’m going to start praying right now for an incredible blessing of sun, no wind, and temps above 52º that March 10th morning. (52º is my magical outside running threshold number ~LOL) I have no idea how I will actually train for a half marathon during the winter.
Approximately twelve weeks after my birthday there is a half marathon in Zimbrota Minnesota that starts and ends at a covered bridge. (My half marathon training is a twelve week schedule, so perfect timing, right?!) I have an absolute love of covered bridges, and that run has actually been on my bucket list for quite a while now. I haven’t officially registered for that race yet, but that is large goal number two for 2018. My friend and I mayyyy have also possiblyyyy already re-booked our hotel and masseuses for the DesMoines IMT half marathon again for next October. If I run that race again, I will be able to take some training time off during June and July next summer, which sounds divine.
Basically, I guess I’m just going to plan to keep on getting up and doing it. I have been faithfully setting my alarm night after night and getting up morning after morning, day after day, month after month, for the past year now. I am in a rhythm, a pattern, a habit. I feel I need to simply continue on… keep going… keep doin’ what i’ve been doin’ … at least until God shows me another path I’m supposed to turn off on to. I don’t know how long this season will last, I don’t know how long this road will wind and curve and turn, what hills and road blocks I will encounter along the way. I don’t know how long my body will hold the strength and health it currently holds… but for now - I am going to simply continue onward.
Onward with trust and a humble gratefulness. I know this is beyond my own willpower.
Have I come to love running? Hells no. I still hate to run, I still look at the penciled number on my calendar every morning and inwardly groan… dreading having to lace up my shoes and actually get out there and get the miles in, get the workout checked off. No, I do not enjoy running, and I don’t feel I am good at, and honestly the thought of having to run another 13.1 miles makes my insides just utterly groan and recoil… And yet, despite how much I dislike it, I do feel as if it is still my current journey to push to and through, to persevere towards, to fight through, to battle tooth and nail through every thought and every step.
While I may not have come to love running, I have come to love the feeling of determination, and perseverance and trust and humbleness. And I know for some odd reason there is a purpose to this continued journey right now and God is clearly on the road next to me.
I know there are some who are rolling their eyes and thinking, please just be quiet already about your damn running and your darn health. I cover my heart and lower my eyes and ask for your forgiveness… It’s old and annoying, I know… I get it. Believe me - I get it… if you think hearing me talk about it all the time is bad - try be the one getting up and actually doing the dirty work, the blood, sweat, and tears of it all every single day, day after day. Now THAT gets old and annoying! If you don’t believe me, let me challenge you to simply join me! I promise I will be your biggest fan, and I will cheer you on every hard and painful step of the way. {wink}
So I guess here’s what’s next… A few new dates, a few new goals, and hopefully a whole lot more days, miles, and words of vulnerability and encouragement to share with you.
And with that, I bid you a goodnight… my alarm is set for 4:20 a.m. tomorrow morning, and there’s a number four penciled on tomorrow’s calendar date. New day, new goal… same journey, same me.
No one other than myself is really expecting an answer from me, and to be honest I have a feeling my husband and family and friends are almost holding their breath in dread as to what my next big “what’s next” is actually going to be. What am I going to think I have to do… have to accomplish… have to prove… have to commit to next? What kind of time commitment and expense is it going to require? What kind of inconvenience and annoyance am I going to impose this time?
Ok, I don’t actually know if that’s what my husband and family and friends are thinking, but in my mind it’s what I’ve convinced myself is going on in their minds. My husband has been a rockstar supporter of me since I’ve met him. My family has been rockstar supporters of me since I took my first breath of life nearly forty-three years ago. But I’m never quite sure just how far or how long they are willing to go with and give me… Diving in, digging into, hurting, healing, changing, growing, training, all take in incredible amount of time and attention to the one embarked upon the journey… it also takes an incredible amount of time and attention from those supporting those embarking upon that journey.
Everyone around me is probably all praying, pleading, begging that I finally start moving on to something else, something different… something beyond my health, beyond my running, beyond myself.
While in my head I have myself convinced what everyone is hoping I do (or don’t do) next, I myself honestly didn’t know what I really wanted to do next. The more I thought about it, the more I just kept coming back to the thought that I know I’m not going to be able to run forever, I’m not going to be strong and healthy forever. I’m not going to be this dedicated and disciplined forever. But for some reason for today, for this current season, God has in fact granted me health and determination. He has allowed me to taste accomplishment and achievement at a degree and level in which I’ve never experienced before.
While I realize I’ve more than likely already topped out at my peak, my finest, my greatest, my highest… I still deep within feel a continued drive to merely continue on as I have been for the past year. Continue forward with my perseverance, continue forward with what simply seems to be currently working for me. Continue on with the healing, the processing, the finding of who I really am, what I'm really made of, and what my full purpose is in life.
While I was in the bath two nights ago a thought came to me (I cannot tell you how many of my life's grand whispers happen to me in the bathroom... eyeroll I know, but it's the truth)... Well, my next date and distance goal just randomly popped into my mind. This is usually how it works for me… I hear the small still voice, and I just know that’s what the next plan needs to be. I’ve decided to set a few new time frames, a few new dates to schedule my days and thoughts around, and it came to me quite clearly what my next plans and goals for 2018 are going to be.
First, I am going to rest from race training for a little while. I will still run, I will still elliptical, but I will not follow a training schedule for a few weeks. No double digit mileages, no racing against the clock and my mind vs body for speed and endurance for the next two months.
After my Friday night bathtub epiphany, I went online yesterday and signed up to run a half marathon on Saturday, March 10, 2018. I will hopefully be able to celebrate my forty-third birthday with a half marathon completion metal around my neck and a running bib pinned to my shirt. This morning I printed out blank calendar pages from today through March 2018. I sat down and filled out each and every day from today until March 10th. I first did this back in February and filled in all the days through October 15th. I have daily looked, completed, and crossed off my training goals every day since.
I plugged in short runs, long runs, interval days, walk days, rest days, elliptical days… similar to what I’ve been successfully doing for the last nine months. The only tricky part is… well, I live in Iowa. And in case you aren’t familiar with winter in Iowa, it’s well… cold and entirely unpredictable weather-wise. I don’t enjoy running outside in the cold, and I don’t enjoy running inside on my treadmill. I plan to probably have to train inside, and I’m going to start praying right now for an incredible blessing of sun, no wind, and temps above 52º that March 10th morning. (52º is my magical outside running threshold number ~LOL) I have no idea how I will actually train for a half marathon during the winter.
Approximately twelve weeks after my birthday there is a half marathon in Zimbrota Minnesota that starts and ends at a covered bridge. (My half marathon training is a twelve week schedule, so perfect timing, right?!) I have an absolute love of covered bridges, and that run has actually been on my bucket list for quite a while now. I haven’t officially registered for that race yet, but that is large goal number two for 2018. My friend and I mayyyy have also possiblyyyy already re-booked our hotel and masseuses for the DesMoines IMT half marathon again for next October. If I run that race again, I will be able to take some training time off during June and July next summer, which sounds divine.
Basically, I guess I’m just going to plan to keep on getting up and doing it. I have been faithfully setting my alarm night after night and getting up morning after morning, day after day, month after month, for the past year now. I am in a rhythm, a pattern, a habit. I feel I need to simply continue on… keep going… keep doin’ what i’ve been doin’ … at least until God shows me another path I’m supposed to turn off on to. I don’t know how long this season will last, I don’t know how long this road will wind and curve and turn, what hills and road blocks I will encounter along the way. I don’t know how long my body will hold the strength and health it currently holds… but for now - I am going to simply continue onward.
Onward with trust and a humble gratefulness. I know this is beyond my own willpower.
Have I come to love running? Hells no. I still hate to run, I still look at the penciled number on my calendar every morning and inwardly groan… dreading having to lace up my shoes and actually get out there and get the miles in, get the workout checked off. No, I do not enjoy running, and I don’t feel I am good at, and honestly the thought of having to run another 13.1 miles makes my insides just utterly groan and recoil… And yet, despite how much I dislike it, I do feel as if it is still my current journey to push to and through, to persevere towards, to fight through, to battle tooth and nail through every thought and every step.
While I may not have come to love running, I have come to love the feeling of determination, and perseverance and trust and humbleness. And I know for some odd reason there is a purpose to this continued journey right now and God is clearly on the road next to me.
I know there are some who are rolling their eyes and thinking, please just be quiet already about your damn running and your darn health. I cover my heart and lower my eyes and ask for your forgiveness… It’s old and annoying, I know… I get it. Believe me - I get it… if you think hearing me talk about it all the time is bad - try be the one getting up and actually doing the dirty work, the blood, sweat, and tears of it all every single day, day after day. Now THAT gets old and annoying! If you don’t believe me, let me challenge you to simply join me! I promise I will be your biggest fan, and I will cheer you on every hard and painful step of the way. {wink}
So I guess here’s what’s next… A few new dates, a few new goals, and hopefully a whole lot more days, miles, and words of vulnerability and encouragement to share with you.
And with that, I bid you a goodnight… my alarm is set for 4:20 a.m. tomorrow morning, and there’s a number four penciled on tomorrow’s calendar date. New day, new goal… same journey, same me.
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