Go The Extra Mile

Remember that silly little run that I had myself all worked up about, all anxious about a few weeks ago, the one on my bucket list, the one I was training for before I could convince myself to even register for?

Ok it actually wasn't so "silly" and I took the whole thing rather quite seriously truth be told, and "little" was maybe the overall size of the race of participants (two hundred fifty-ish) in comparison to the eight thousand runners I ran beside last October in DesMoines... but as for the distance, thirteen point one miles is still thirteen point one miles no matter what race you register for, no matter what town you're in, and it's actually not that "little."

Well, that run happened this past weekend.  And I was there.  I started and I finished, I got that finishers metal, and I got to cross something really big off my little bucket list.  And in my book and in my heart, it was huge.

I had to do a lot of planning and juggling to make this one happen.  New job, no PTO, juggling the ten year old and dogs from here to there, from church camp to home, from home to the camper, from grandparents to the brother and girlfriend, to friends at the campground while brother and girlfriend went to a golf tournament.  Amazingly enough, it all worked out, and my hubs and I embarked on a small adventure I am sure we will never forget.  Lol.

I won't get into the details, but let's just say it was a small town, with an even smaller town hotel that I knew only had a one star rating online.  We'll just leave it this... the toilet seat was broke, the air conditioning didn't work, the cable tv box wasn't hooked up to the tv, and the entire hotel smelled, well... horrible.  Luckily we were there merely a matter of hours, we were in and out of town in less than sixteen hours.

So why this race, why this town you ask.  Well, it was a half marathon that started and ended in a covered bridge, and I am a die hard covered bridge lover, and I have been since the moment I entered my very first one in Winterset Iowa one night at dusk almost two decades ago.  The romance, the history, the nostalgia, the symbolism, just everything about covered bridges touches me, moves me, inspires me, draws me to them.  I put it on my bucket list the day I first heard about this particular race two years ago, long before I ever knew I actually possessed the ability to actually train and run a distance that far.

So, basically the main reason I ran this was, well... because I could. Over the last few years I have first hand come to learn we are not guaranteed tomorrow. We are not guaranteed our health a year from now, we are not guaranteed our spouse will still be beside us next year, we are not guaranteed retirement... For two years I had said, "Oh maybe next year I'll run that covered bridge half marathon..." and then about a month ago I simply decided I can’t take the chance on waiting to maybe try make it work next year.  I might not be here next year.

Right here, right now I’m alive, I’m relatively injury free (minus a few aches and pains and discomforts). I’m able to train and travel in this current season of my life.  And yet, I had a really hard time signing up and taking this one on.  It was the big one in my mind, the elusive bucket list one, and this one took a lot of effort and sacrifice from my family and friends.  What if I got there and couldn't finish, what if it went terrible and I didn't get to come home with a finishers metal?  For some reason I struggled mentally with this race, mostly because I had held it up on such a high pedestal for so long, and I was so scared of failing myself and disappointing myself and everyone else.  So much so that I almost didn't do it.  And then I almost signed up to only run the 10k (because the 10k finishers also got metals at this race).  But then there was the text from the hubs saying he would drive me there, but only if I signed up to do the half.  Go big or go home he had said.  No regrets he had said.

It's a good thing he knows me so well, hu?

I could have signed up for the 10k, finished after six point two miles, and gone home with a finishers metal, I was quite confident that was a distance I could accomplish.  But I did in fact sign up for the half.  Thirteen point freaking one miles. Double digits, and I lacked the confidence to defeat the fear within me the entire time I trained.

And then suddenly it was Friday night, and we had arrived, and I was standing alone in that beloved covered bridge in the little town of Zumbrota, MN.  I'd been to this bridge once before, a super quick stop on our way home once before we were even married.  And now here I was again, the eve of another half marathon. 

It was raining that night when I left the bridge, and continued into the next morning. I woke up and the radar showed we were in the middle of a large and slow moving system.  It rained.  It poured.  It lightening. It thundered.  I sat on the bed in the sad little hotel room and wondered what in the world would happen if they would cancel it.  I was filled with dread over whatever the outcome was going to be.  It was either going to be canceled, no race at all, or it wasn't going to be canceled and we were going to have to run in the weather that nature was handing out that morning.

We made our way back to the bridge and gathered inside with many other runners.  It was cold and wet.  The thunder and lightening continued, and low and behold at 7:30am ~ a mere thirty minutes later than originally scheduled, they officially sent the half marathoners on their way.  The 10K would follow shortly after, and then the 5K'ers.  My hubs had surprised me and signed up to do the 5K, so he was donned with a number and ventured out into the elements as well.  I missed both his start and his finish, but I was so proud of him.

The miles weren't exactly easy, but the first few miles did surprise me how quickly they slipped by.  Soon I was leaving the roadway and veering to the left onto a paved path that had once been an old railroad.  It really was a breathtaking route.  Lush greenery lined both sides and I can only imagine how it would have looked with sunshine sparkling through the leaves and wildflowers instead of the pelting rain and streaks of lightening.

Mile three ticked by and then there was a turnaround spot for the 10k'ers.  The half marathoners were to continue onward, which I did.  I distinctly remember thinking that I would have been half way through the race already if I had signed up to run the 10K.  And then I looked up, and right after the start of mile four, there in front of me, was another covered bridge.  A bridge I had no idea existed.  I could hardly believe it.  As I stepped onto and crossed it I laughed out loud and said "Bonus Bridge!"  It was so fun... then I got to cross it again on my way back after hitting our turn around spot.

I told everyone I only wanted to finish, that was my only goal.  But of course we all know the truth inside ourselves when we say those kinds of things.  Of course I wanted to finish, but I also really wanted to PR (break my personal record) and I really wanted to Sub2 (finish under two hours).  I admitted these two things to very few people.  I ran hard, I stayed right in front of the 2:00 pace setter for the first ten miles.  He slowly made his way next to me during mile eleven, and then I couldn't keep up any longer.

Mile twelve was hard.  Really hard.  I wanted to walk.  I wanted to quit.  I wanted it to just be over.  I was tired, I was wet, I was mentally and physically done.

But I refused to let myself walk.  I continued on through puddles ankle deep.  I wove through cul de sacs in figure eights that had not one single spectator out cheering anyone on. Then along the side of a busy highway, and then back to weaving my way through the park.  I could see the bridge, and I could see my 2:00 pace setter slowly creeping further and further ahead of me.  My runkeeper app stopped talking to me before mile seven.  I went from getting my distance, speed, and average pace updates every five minutes and every mile to nothing.  Nothing at all.  I knew I wasn't going to Sub2, and assumed I would not PR (2:05).  I rounded a few more corners and climbed the final hill into the end of the bridge.  I looked at the numbered that lit up the bridge.  2:02.  I had in fact PR'ed, and I had in fact finished.

I had done it.  I had officially checked this race off my bucket list.

In the end I found out I didn't just finished and get to come home with a finishers metal.  I also came in 3rd place for my age group.  Who would have thunk?!?  RunningNonRunner me would come home with not one, but two metals!  They called my name during the awards afterwards and I got to go up and get that second metal.  Pretty surreal.  And the hubs came in 5th place in his age group!

We were showered and in the car heading out of town less than an hour later, muscles sore and hearts full.  We talked and laughed and took turns sleeping on the way home.

The next night I went out on a walk on our local trail that had also once been a train track, just a few blocks from our house.  I walked, my legs and muscles more sore than the day before.  As I walked, dusk slowly settling around me, I was struck with the reality... Had I only signed up to run the 10K, I would have turned around shortly after mile three.  I would have never continued on to mile four, and I would have never known about or gotten to run across that 2nd covered bridge.

You know, people believed in me, people encouraged me, and I chose to not give in to the fear and doubt whispering its sweet nothings endlessly into my ear. I chose to believe in myself and just go for it, to train hard, to allow myself myself, to be just a little selfish, to just take on those few extra miles in my attempt to accomplish something big, something larger than I'd ever dreamt I'd be able to achieve.

And I want to tell YOU to not be afraid to believe in yourself, to push yourself, to just go a little longer, just a little farther, push just a little harder, give yourself yourself.  You have no idea what's waiting for you over that next hill, around that next corner, after that next accomplishment, in that next mile ahead.  Grasp your strength and show yourself, and the world around you, what you're made of, what you're capable of.

Find the balance... find how to live in the middle of being a good steward of life and resources, while not misering it away, not wasting it away, not wishing it away.  Be intentional, be purposeful, be fully present and invested in the right here and right now... not lost in the what ifs of yesterday and the what might bes of tomorrow.  Wear that favorite perfume, burn your favorite candle, drink that favorite bottle of wine... Don’t save your favorite things for too long, don't keep telling others and yourself you'll do it "later..."  Do it now, be there for your family now, be there for yourself now. 

I guarantee that what’s waiting in that one more mile will be knock-your-socks-off awesomesauce. And if it’s not, or if you can’t quite do it, can’t quite get there yet this time... don’t give up! Get back out there tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. I promise God will keep waking you up every morning and filling you with the purpose and strength you need to go just a little farther, just a little faster, just a little stronger each and every day.

And don't forget to turn around and look for those on their journeys around you.  See them, believe in them, encourage them, love them.  None of us would be where we are today if someone hadn't believe and invested in us, and we need to all be sure we are doing the same to those around us.

Be influential. Be inspirational. Be intentional. Run that race, chase that dream, grab for that goal, go that extra mile further than you want, further than you believe you can, further than everyone else thinks you can. Because you know what, I believe in you and I know you CAN!

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