I haven't run outside at home since before covid. The world just became a little too scary, so I retreated to my basement every morning. I have a treadmill, elliptical, bike, BB membership, and recently added a rowing machine. I mean, why in the world would I venture outside if I didn't have to?!
Two years ago I took a serious vow that I was done racing any in person live races. Anywhere. Anytime. Period. I had been signed up and training for many different things in the spring of 2020 and everything was covid canceled. I would run a few of them virtually (in my basement) and I have signed up online for a few more virtual races since then, but I have continued to not allow myself to re-enter the streets and crowds and anxiety of in person racing.
I'm not even sure why, it's just something I said in 2020. I'm getting older (and slower) is my main reason.
But there is this one little caveat. The Mickelson Trail Half Marathon. Ugh.
I eagerly signed up for this for the first time in 2018 (for the 2019 race). I would need one day off work, the day after, to get back home. And while I could have probably gotten it off, there were others in the department that ended up also off over that timeframe, and I knew I could not in good conscience have that day off. So I didn't run it.
2020 I was signed up for the second time. Covid canceled. It was decided we could defer it 2021 or 2022. I deferred to 2021.
2021 would be the wedding weekend of my son and beautiful daughter-in-law. There was no way I could travel six hours away for a race the day after the wedding. They graciously allowed me to defer one last time to 2022.
2022 is the current due date of our first grand baby. You can't even make this kind of stuff up, and I'm laughing at God's great humor as I type this.
The due date changed from the original date they had thought, and it would be months before I realized that the updated due date was smack dab in the middle of a family vacation half marathon race weekend. My initial reaction was to freak out, ok - not actually freak out, but I was suddenly faced with having to make another decision about this race.
More than anything I wanted to just say I wasn't going to do it, cancel the trip, cancel the hotel reservations, leave the PTO on the work calendar and call it good. No training. No outdoor running. No traveling. No pre-race anxiety. No live in person race surrounded by hundreds/thousands of other (faster) runners. No new coffee mug to earn.
But... what if... what if the baby was born a week early? What if the baby was born a week late? What if... and we all know the avenues my lossmom mind would immediately go to and I had to just take a breath and walk away for a while.
I counted 12 weeks out from race day and circled the date on my calendar. I would have to make a decision by then. Would I start training? Would I cancel the whole thing?
That circled date arrived a week and a half ago. I went around and around in my head of all the things I didn't want to do, most of which was go outside in the cold and dark and attempt to start training... But, that's exactly what I did.
Outside running is way more difficult for me than inside. Mentally and physically. I've suffered a large back injury a year ago. I had a long go with covid a few months ago. I'm closer now to 50 than I am to 40. And I was never a strong and fast runner when I first started running in my early 40's.
I have decided to leave the hotel reservations. I have decided to seriously start the training, with all training to be done outside. We will decide the day before we are scheduled to leave if we will leave, or if we will cancel. We are good with this plan, and excited to see what journey God will lead us on over the next twelve plus weeks.
Will I make it through all twelve weeks of training? I honestly don't know. I am through week one, and I am already dealing with some pretty intense back issues, so I'm just not sure. Will I race in person and cross the finish line of one last live race? I have no idea. Will the baby be early and I will be that crazy proud runner grandma talking about it to every person standing next to me in the line up coral? Hopefully!
So for now, I guess I can only leave you with a "Well, tune in to find out!" promise.
#runlikethewindbullseye #motherrunner #runningnonrunner #halfmarathontraining #dohardthings
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