I am an almost pushing fifty-something, audaciously authentic, Jesus loving, modestly pierced, heavily tattooed, daughter of Christ who carries a colorful past full of mistakes and second chances. I’m a part-time cupcake making powerhouse, full-time art administrator, adoption advocate, control freak, perfectionist, emoji lover, hashtag abuser, camping obsessed, sunset chasing, avid photographer, who’s completely addicted to scrapbooking. Standing beside me is my main man, my forty-something husband of over eighteen years (who’s also moderately tattooed with a colorful past), my three children ages twenty-four, thirteen, and stillborn seven years ago… and of course our adorable little poochie-poo.
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Sunday, May 7, 2023

Mother's Day. It's a Tricky One.

Mother’s Day
It’s a tricky one.

I personally am in circles of moms that have angel babies, and moms who have buried their children, of various ages and reasons. Hard.

I’m in circles of women praying earnistly for God to grant them with a live, healthy baby. Hard. 

I’m in circles of adoptive moms who are largely caught between the grief of a biological mom grieving the child she placed, and the joy and gratefulness in being the mom that was chosen for that job. Hard. 

I’m in circles of moms who are in the depths of raising those hard-to-raise kiddos, the ones rejoicing at God’s slightest hint of hope and deliverance, right alongside those who grieve and mourn and ache over those cut and broken relationships while they continue to weave through the mess of it all. Hard. 

I’m in circles of new moms, old moms, moms who are grandmas, moms who have moms, moms who have lost their moms, moms caring for sick family members, moms who have had to place firm boundaries up again their moms. Hard. 

I’m in circles of fur moms (which totally still counts as being a “real” mom!) moms who are single, moms who are married, moms who are divorced, moms who are remarried, moms being moms in blended families, moms letting their kiddos have another mom in a blended family that isn't her own.  Moms who work outside the home, and moms who don’t. Sports moms, music moms, star student moms, and moms getting calls from the principal's office and the police station. Hard. 

I'm in circles of moms who mentor and listen and hug and walk alongside, and moms in the thick of needing and receiving all the mentoring and support and prayers.  Hard

I’m in circles of moms with littles, and moms who are empty nesters, both seasons incredibly hard. 

I’m in circles with organized Pinterest pinning moms and hot mess express moms. Moms who stay up late and moms who go to bed early. Moms who workout and moms who don’t. Moms who make all their own meals and moms who praise the Lord for drive through and pizza delivery.

I could go on and on about all the amazing women and moms out there- all caught in the cross fire of emotions on this social media highlight reel, boasting “reality” in such a way we’re all left feeling unsatisfied and less than, and entirely not enough, especially to ourselves.

I want to celebrate the moms in my life and the greatness they are. I want to celebrate my daughter-in-law who is now an amazing mom herself. I want to be celebrated as a mom for all the little and big things I do every day 24/7/365. I want to grieve the child not in my earthly arms today. I want to celebrate our birthmom and grieve with her sad heart as well. I want to honor all those amazing women in my family who came before me leading the way for me and my footsteps...

How do you celebrate and grieve and honor and rejoice and stay humble?  How in the world does one begin to know how to do all that well, and all that at the same time at that?

I have zero answers for any of those questions… I just know that this week, and this coming weekend, is going to be hard for a lot of women, for a lot of different reasons. 

So let’s hold hands together and embrace the hard of it all and look up. Look up into the eyes of all those around you, and look up into the eyes of yourself looking back at you in the mirror. Be kind to them, but also, be kind to that one looking at you in your own mirror, and don't forget to also love her well.

Give yourself and everyone around, the love and grace and acceptance they need… that you need. We don’t know the depths of pain, and reality, and the stories within every person around us, and sometimes we aren’t even strong or honest enough to fully grasp or know this about what we carry deep within our own selves. 
 
Blessings to those celebrating this dear but damned holiday. And also bless those who are mourning. And angry. And confused. And hurt. And lost. And hopeful. And doubtful. And cheerful. And joy filled, and every possible feeling in between. 

From the keyboard from one very weary mom out there, to all of you… please know you ARE loved.  You ARE greater than you can ever imagine. You ARE enough. You ARE worthy. You ARE valued. 

YOU ARE EVERYTHING, and more… and you are NOT alone…


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