Summer Days Are Coming

Some seasons are hard.
Some days are hard.
Some days satan just has his hand in everything it feels.

Today is one of those days for me, in the midst of one of those seasons.

It’s a season of hard that I was fully aware was going to happen. I tried to prepare, I tried to brace myself, I tried to even avoid it… but that plan has obviously backfired. And today I find myself feeling like a caged and hurt animal, needing to cower in the corner and lick my wounds.

I feel beaten and battered today. I feel defeated and depleted today. I feel a lot of high impact emotions right now, and oddly also a lost numbness all at the same time.

The events and details leading to this place where I currently sit are irrelevant. We all have hard days and seasons. We all have struggles at home and at work. We all have it, we all get it, and we all do a pretty fantastic job of attempting to avoid and numb ourselves during these moments as well. The tv, the food, the social media scrolling, the finger point at everyone but ourselves.

But some days… some days it just all comes at us too strong, too quick, too hard. Some days our hard shell cracks a little under the pressure, our strength and vitality take a beating and aren’t able to recover as quickly as we need them to.

How often do we make our bad days also become someone else’s bad days?  How do we be aware, not numb, not avoid, but also not vomit and spew it all over onto every one and every other area of our lives?

This is where I sit. In the “sitting back” of the onslaught of completely falling apart… trying to breathe a little, trying to regroup a little, trying to access the situation and my life a little.

Life is not fair, not for me, and not for you. Life is filled with unknown and uncertainty, trials and tribulations. Now is that the only things life is filled with?!? Oh Heaven’s no! Life is also filled with sunshine and laughter, sunrises an sunsets, covered bridges and fishing ponds. Life is laced with delicious chocolate, aromatic rich coffees, and fresh produce from the ground.

Life is just a juxtaposition of sorts. A day and night, black and white, up and down, evolution of high and lows amid the minutes and days of our lives. We battle it daily - the choices we make in our thoughts, feelings, actions, reactions. We’re ultimately in control ~ and yet completely uncontrolled at the very same time.

Exhausting. Life is simply exhausting most days isn’t it?

Adulting is hard. Championing for Jesus and the next right thing is hard. Health and wellness and wholeness is hard. Moming, wifeing, emplyeeing, selfing is hard. Walking away, checking out, scaling back, reevaluating and reassessing is hard. Change is hard, even when it’s good… especially when it’s good.

My house is a mess, my life is a mess, my jobs are a mess, my family is a mess.
Thanks satan - job well done my man… job well done. You have accomplished all that you have set out to on me. But you haven’t won… at least not yet… at least not yet…

Yes, this is a season of hard… but this too shall pass. Some day the sun will shine down again and warm me with its radiance and promise of life and hope. Someday the heaviness will again lift for a while and I will feel the freedom and grace that’s currently shackled and hiding.

It’s a cycle… it’s a phase… it’s something we all go through. Some of us just weather it better and deal with or ignore it all together better. I simply want to try live fully, not numb, not over-react, not over-assume, and not under-estimate all that I am and all that God has created me yet to become.

Hard days… hard season… yup it’s here again in full swing.
But summer days are coming… I'm going to trust those summer days are coming... 

{ Previous blog post "Journey Through The Seasons" HERE }

{ Next blog post "Two Peas In A Pod - A Lesson on Change" HERE }